April 8, 2025
How Jesus Handled Flattery and Manipulation
Jesus's approach to flattery and praise provides a profound contrast to our own susceptibility to manipulation through ego and pride.
• Most people can be manipulated through flattery that aligns with what they want to believe about themselves
• Different forms of manipulation target men and women based on their specific insecurities and desires
• Many of us struggle to receive compliments comfortably, either dismissing them or feeling uncomfortable
• Jesus had legitimate reasons for praise but never allowed it to distract him from his mission
• Christ prioritized service and hospitality, ensuring people's physical needs were met before spiritual ones
• He created welcoming environments where everyone felt valued regardless of background or status
• Unlike modern tendencies, Jesus never "put on airs" despite performing extraordinary miracles
• Christ's consistency came from his focus on his mission rather than others' opinions about him
• We can learn to recognize flattery as an attempt to manipulate us away from our purpose
• True leadership follows Jesus's model of service without expectation of praise or reciprocation
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Chapters
00:00 - Manipulation Through Flattery
01:35 - How We Handle Compliments
05:21 - Christ's Service and Hospitality
10:17 - Jesus's Immunity to Ego and Pride
14:06 - Staying Focused Despite Praise
Transcript
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Jesus wasn't susceptible to flattery like we are.
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Whenever you watch a movie, you can see the characters manipulated into place by their egos, what they want to believe about themselves, what they hope others see in them, and they're just kind of led around by their nose, like in movies.
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A guy that's interested in a girl, the girl can stroke his ego, tell him he's fantastic at this, he's wonderful, he's brilliant, he's every girl's dream.
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And as she says this, most of us are susceptible.
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Most of us, you can get to us because these are things we want to believe.
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Right, there are things in our ego that feel so important and so integral to our status and our desirability With women.
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You'll see in movies where a guy will be love, bombing them or making them feel great about themselves, or making them feel seen or providing some type of support that they're not getting from other places.
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So it can look a little bit different between guys and girls, but we are susceptible to that type of manipulation.
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And so as I watched this movie the other day and I watched these characters being manipulated and I had started to think to myself like gee, would I be manipulated that easily If she had said that to me?
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Like, would I be so caught up in my pride that I wouldn't see through what was happening, that I wouldn't see through what was happening that I would lose my sense of focus?
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How easy is it for people to flatter you into some position, some feeling, some decision.
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This happens even in committed relationships or marriages.
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Right, we all learn that people respond to different things and whether it's like that, the perennial question, would you rather be feared or loved?
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There's also this dynamic of we want to be liked, we want to be thought well of.
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So I started thinking like okay, how does this line up with Jesus?
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Or how did Jesus deal with flattery?
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Here's somebody who actually had a legitimate claim to some exceptional traits.
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Right, if someone came to you and said, gee, you're such a wonderful healer and you're setting people free and you're bringing salvation, and you're bringing salvation and you're breaking bread and feeding the multitudes, if you start to believe like you're God or something most of us would say, either you run a cult or you're delusional or, best case scenario, maybe you're some type of prophet or special figure that somehow God's using, it would be a puzzling situation.
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But you know, we really needn't worry about it, because none of us have met anyone that manifested everything that Jesus did People debate about.
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Are there healings, are there miracles?
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And the point of this video really isn't even to go into that.
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But I think we can agree, though, that most of us just the average Christian or the average believer stumbling around.
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We're nothing special.
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Some of us may be more attractive than others.
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Some of us may be brighter or more accomplished in some way.
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Some of us are more popular than others.
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Some of us are stronger and better shaped than others.
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There's all these ways that we can define ourselves, and for most of us, we would like to hear compliments on any of those.
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Finds right, break them on.
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But the truth is that for many of us, even when we're given compliments, and even if they're compliments that are like not far-fetched, like they're reasonable for what we actually are or have accomplished, a lot of times it's hard to just take that compliment right.
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A lot of us, we have so many self-doubting demons that we find ourselves downplaying compliments or we find ourselves just kind of trying to quickly, oh, thank you, and just kind of brush it off.
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Like most people are great at just digesting the compliment and just taking it in and being like wow, yeah, that's great.
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Yeah, thank you.
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I appreciate you saying that.
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I really feel good about that.
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That's made my day and I'm going to run with that For myself.
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There's a lot of compliments in numerous areas.
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When people give me a compliment, I'm kind of uncomfortable with it and I don't even always know exactly why that is.
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What is it about that feeling of being acknowledged in some way that creates that discomfort for so many of us?
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And that's a good question.
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But for this video I want to talk about how did Christ who people would be kind of starstruck with a guy that's showing up?
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He's loving, he's kind, we're speaking with great wisdom, right?
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He knows the word, he knows the law, and it's unusual for someone at such a young age to have that type of wisdom and insight.
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And people take note of that.
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So he's healing people miraculously right, bringing sight to the blind, people able to hear people, able to walk.
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He's coming into situations of deficit and paucity of food and resources and multiplying the loaves and the fishes and feeding the multitudes.
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All are examples of the type of abundance that Christ brought with him to places, and particularly when people had come essentially for a sermon or to hear him speak on a topic, or maybe they were coming to get healed, or maybe they were coming for salvation, or they were coming to be loved on in some way and they had heard rumors are going around about this guy and they're showing up.
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Who knows how far they're traveling from A lot of people.
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They don't have the money and they're not stocked with food and all this stuff.
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So when people start gathering around this guy, what does Christ do?
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Like?
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One of the things he's doing is he's facilitating those meanings, and one way he's doing that is by serving the people.
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And he's serving them not just in the sense of serving them love, serving them salvation, serving them wisdom, serving them generosity and belonging.
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He's also literally serving them, right, he's serving food or he's turning water into wine.
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This is a guy you want to have a trip party, right?
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He's serving food or he's turning water into wine.
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This is a guy you want to have a trip party, right?
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He's providing for people, because the truth is that and my mentor showed me this in terms of in the men's group that he ran he would come with all these foods and drinks and donuts and fresh fruit and coffee and orange juice.
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I mean like quite a spread for this group of 10, 15 guys and they'd have it all decked out.
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And when you came in, do you realize that really take advantage of learning or fellowship, or whatever is going on has to do with that hospitality.
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People are coming in and they're hungry and they're thirsty, and we're in the church there's no vending machines or it's not like you were like ordering pizza or something.
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People were coming in hungry and by having that refreshment, he told me that he was really just trying to model after what Christ was doing, because Christ wasn't like a slob about the Word or what he was presenting.
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He wasn't like hey, I'm talking about something really important, so stop your stomach rumbling.
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Or, oh, you're thirsty?
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Yeah, so what?
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Man, wait a few more hours, and who cares?
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I'm only going to be here for a few years, or I'm just passing through town.
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How dare you bring up who has some water or who has some wine or who has some bread to go around?
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See, Christ didn't have that type of attitude.
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He both is a matter of love in terms of wanting to see the people fed and fulfilled, and also just in the sense of like practically.
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I want the people to feel comfortable.
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I want them to feel welcome.
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I want them to have something to eat, something to drink, I want them to have time to talk with me and listen to what I'm saying and ask questions and interact with me.
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Jesus had such a service mindset that we could all learn a lot from it, because most of us are just too self-centered or just too in a hurry or just too whatever.
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We're just not thinking on that level where we're putting people ahead of ourselves.
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But Jesus was hosting these meetings right, just like my mentor was hosting these men's group meetings.
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And so, yeah, come and partake of everything.
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There's no donation box, there's no write me a check or hey, we're going to take this out of your ties, or anything like that.
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No exchange and no exchange necessary.
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No weird transactional thing going on.
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And surely, with Jesus, jesus wasn't even remotely interested in people's money or anything like superficial.
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So obviously he is no like ulterior motive or expects to get paid or get reimbursed or any such thing.
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Right, providing all of this out of love and out of a sense of service and out of sense of how do I make the most of the time with my children?
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I'm not here for long and I'm not going to get a chance to see all of them.
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I may only be passing through a town, you know, for a day.
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So how can I provide an environment where they can sit, no matter, true, gentile, young, old, wealthy, poor, sick, healthy?
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How do I create an environment where everybody is welcome and well taken care of?
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And that's what Christ was doing?
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And we see some of those examples in the Bible and I don't think those examples are meant to be focused on that.
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Sometimes they're letting you stay at the end.
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Sometimes you're just staying in like a lean-to or camp.
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You can imagine like he's coming down for whatever right.
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He wasn't going around and just basing where his conference was going to be, on where the Four Seasons hotels are right.
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He was just out there serving and whatever he had to sleep on or eat or drink or bear, people were after him, evil was around, or just where he just wasn't welcome.
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None of these things kept him from loving and extending that type of hospitality to people.
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But let's get back to the point of flattery, right?
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So here, in many meaningful ways, you could be giving Jesus compliments.
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I mean, imagine if you're there with Jesus and he's doing this and he's doing that.
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I mean he's changing people's lives, he's opening eyes, physically and spiritually.
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And just try to imagine, I mean, this is more extraordinary than anything you ever thought you would see in your lifetime.
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So, in the midst of people showing gratitude or thanks or all that, it's certainly easy to give a guy some legit compliments.
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Right, it made Jesus deserve some compliments.
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But you'll notice, though, that Jesus is never moved by his own feelings about things, because you can imagine, right, for most of us, once we become important or celebrated or something like that, we quickly put on airs oh well, I'm not going to stay at a Motel 6.
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I need to stay at the Hilton.
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I don't drive secondhand cars.
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I lease new luxury cars, I'm selling, so I would never be caught dead driving that or sleeping there or wearing those clothes.
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But just imagine, like none of us are going around performing miracles, and here's a guy that's actually doing all that and he's still not letting any of that get to his head, and you see his consistency in terms of my father sent me this is what I'm going to do.
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Yes, it's ultimately going to lead me into danger and to rejection and to torture.
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I'm going to go through this betrayal.
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All this stuff is on the road ahead.
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So you can keep complimenting me and telling me this and that and I should avoid this and that, this and that and I should avoid this and that.
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But Christ was quick to say don't try using the sweet tongue on me to get me caught up in my feelings or my ego or distract me from what I'm here to do.
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What I'm here to do is serve.
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What I'm here to do is suffer is sacrifice is suffer is sacrifice.
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So, one, he had to be resolved to that in his own mind.
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And two, when well-meaning people, including some of the people that were very close to him, like disciples, he would have to say don't get into all that.
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Christ wasn't dragging an ego along with him.
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